i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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