Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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