ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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