My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
