What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
