I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
