I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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