I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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