I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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