is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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