Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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