Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
