And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
