just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
