I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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