Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
