dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
