how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What drink are we having for lunch?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
