And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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