he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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