I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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