So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
