remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize