3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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