So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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