and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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