obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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