Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You made out with two different species that night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
