Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
