You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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