I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
