I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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