He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
