She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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