I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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