he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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