let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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