i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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