wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
