why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize