Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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