If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
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