just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
