i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
