i just wanna soil my oats bro
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
