I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
