I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
