I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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