Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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