That's intense
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
