Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
