And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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