So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Randomize
