normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
