hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
