$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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