I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
