i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
