did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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