Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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