Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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