I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
