Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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