Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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