i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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