I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
