if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
