But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
