She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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